ON FORGIVENESS...

All my sympathisies go to the Church of England Vicar whose daughter was killed in the London 7/7 suicide bombings and who has now resigned because she finds it hard to forgive the men who carried out the suicide attacks. The Rev Julie Nicholson, priest-in-charge of St Aidan with St George church, Bristol, said she was struggling to reconcile her feelings with her position.

Mrs Nicholson said: "Forgiving another human being for violating your child is almost beyond human capabilities. It is very difficult for me to stand behind an altar and celebrate the Eucharist and lead people in words of peace and reconciliation and forgiveness when I feel very far from that myself.If someone were to say to me that my ability to forgive Jenny's killer would end the violence I could probably find the courage to do it. But I am not sure in my heart I would believe it."

Jenny Nicholson studied for a master's degree in advanced musical studies at Bristol University. She had been head chorister at St Mary's in Henbury, in Bristol, and had moved to Reading to live with her boyfriend, James White. She was travelling to work at the music publisher Rhinegold when the bomb exploded at Edgware Road. How very very sad.

I don't want to make any point here other than to reflect on the enormity of what is must be like to lose a beloved daughter int the way described. My prayers are for Mrs Nicholson and her surviving family. I hope they will find peace in God.

Comments

[smcgiff]

'Forgiving another human being for violating your child is almost beyond human capabilities.'

I hope for her sake she is at enough peace with herself to one day return to her ministry.

[joc]

Agreed David,

Just heard the interview on the radio on the way into work.

Grieving can take a long time to work out these things.

God bless her.

[Paul]

I have never lost a child , but my heart goes out to Rev. Nicholson. To have your child murdered must be a horrific feeling and I hope that she finds peace in her grieving process.

[Debby]

My heart goes out to Rev. Nicholson - almost 20 years ago my 9 year old daughter was abducted and raped (she survived) and my personal relationship with God pretty much ended. If someone figures out how to get past these things, please share your wisdom.

[Robert]

Something about her interview on BBC news slightly jarred with me, then I realised that it was the first time I had heard a negative comment about Mohammed Siddique Khan on the broadcast media. At worst hes usually portrayed as a misguided idealist with everyone stressing how liked and and respected he was. I'm glad someone is finally talking about the victim's pain.

[Alison]

Reading that brought a lump to my throat. What powerful words. How brave of her to stand up there and say what she did

"We have heard a lot about things causing certain groups of people offence and I would say that I am hugely offended that someone should take my daughter in the name of a religion or a God"

And that that person is also "British" is truly beyond comprehension.

[ch in texas]

I, like everyone in life, have had bad things done to me, although not to the enormity listed above. But Jesus, in His wisdom, taught us about forgivness, not to help our enemies, but to help us. Because you see, when we hold on to hate, it's like drinking poison everyday, hoping the one who hurt us drops dead.

[Michael Turley]

It helps put Gordon Wilsons words and actions into perspective.

[mbruce]

What I got from this is that there ARE acts which cannot be forgive and she is having difficulty reconciling that within the structure of her faith.

[Alison]

The Times article was more detailed.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-2073010,00.html

[Mark]

Am I missing something here? How can you forgive someone who hasn't asked for forgiveness.

[sean]

'Forgiving another human being for violating your child is almost beyond human capabilities.'

My heart goes out to this woman, losing a child is an awful thing but under these circumstances, well what can I say....I think it is very noble and truly Christian of her to step down so that she can examine herself.
I am sure it is the same feeling the parents of innocent children in Iraq and other war zones feel- the inability to forgive.

[The Phantom]

--Am I missing something here? How can you forgive someone who hasn't asked for forgiveness.--

I think that this is a very, very important point. The Jihadi and other terrorists who have killed innocents are not only not sorry, they would be impatient to commit such crimes again and again, on a larger scale.

I think it is almost immoral to forgive someone who is completely unrepentent, who still, metaphorically, has his gun aimed at the rest of your family.

I can understand trying not to hate, but to forgive seems to me to go against human nature and natural law.

[Monica-Philadelphia]

She is struggling of course. Dang. I can't imagine losing my girls in a violent act much less having them survive something violent as Debby's girl did. I would be blind with rage and grief.

Forgiveness really has nothing to do with the person who committed the act. This is my philosophy. Forgiveness has to do with letting go - giving up the feelings of hatred and anger and moving on. You move on. You decide that there is still room for goodness and love and relationships and growth.

I think it is natural for this woman to feel this way and I believe she will get through this after going through what she is going through. She has my sympathy and is in my thoughts and prayers.

It just doesn't make any sense how so many good people are hurt in this world. There are a lot of monsters out there.

[Aileen]

Phantom

I totally agree. Although to some not forgiving = hating.

I haven't heard the interviews but this doesn't make sence to me. I wonder if she is steping down because she has lost her faith or because she hates those repsonsible, both different things from hating.

I remember seeing a trailer for a programe years ago about a young mother who's husband was murdered (he was an innocent RC murdered by "loyalist" terrorist). It billed it as her forgiving her husbands killers. When it was aired she said absolutley nothing about forgivness. She said that she didn't hate anyone and she was determind to bring her child up knowing that the people responsible for their fate were not typical of Protestants.

Of course Gordon Wilson's interview that is often refered to as him forgiving the IRA was no such thing either. He said something like he held no bitterness for them and had prayed for them.

[Monica-Philadelphia]

Forgiving doesn't mean allowing the criminal to go scot-free. Some people think this.

[Chip]

Forgiveness should come after the Hellfire missile. That's in the apocrypha, or something.

Christians (not her, she gets it) need to get over this soft streak or risk becoming the latest Shakers. She has no reason to forgive people who have no remorse except wishing they'd killed more people.

[Alison]

Its not really to do with her seeking to forgive those who arent asking to be forgiven. Isnt this to do with her integrity and her belief in that integrity. Something so lacking out there nowadays. Her job is her faith and she loved her job - it tells her to practise forgiveness, she cant - so she steps down and explains why. In so doing she makes a powerful and welcome point.

[Alison]

Debby - im sorry i missed yr comment and just wanted to express my sympathy and admiration for yr courage. You dont owe God any attempt to regain yr faith. My mother was almost wiped out in an horrific accident 10 years ago and ive had an on/off relationship with God ever since. In the police car on the way up to the hospital I was told she had died. I said to God that if that wasnt true I would forgive HIM. She survived. But im still not sure i have!

[David Vance]

Some profound comments. Thanks folks.

[Peter Legge]

There is a principle in forgiveness. It must be asked for to be given. God will not forgive the sins of those who do not ask Him and Christ told his disciples that they should be prepared to forgive when the offender asks forgiveness.
We are told by God that those who take lives must have their lives taken from them by us. Modern thinking is incorrect. The laws of the Old Testament must be obeyed.
These murderers and others are against the true Gods' will and will be eternally punished unless they repent and accept His way of Salvation.
Mrs Nicholson is not wrong to withhold forgiveness and if her resignation is required by her church then the tenets of the church are incorrect.

[Monica-Philadelphia]

So if an offender DOES ask for forgiveness, Peter, what if we are unable to grant it at that time? There will be times when we will be unable to do that no matter how hard we try.

[Madradin Ruad]

Luke 23:34 ?

[ch in texas]

Did not Our Lord from the cross ask His Father "to forgive them, for they know not what they do"? Those that killed Him in a most brutal fashon didn't seek forgiveness. Why was it given?

[ch in texas]

We're on an erie wavelength Mad!