A TANGLED WEB

Much Ado About Nothing

HRH Queen Elizabeth will be in Cardiff tomorrow (St David's Day) to open another chamber of uselessness in the pet project of UK fragmentation so beloved of New Labour.  Seven years after the adoption of a Welsh Assembly was endorsed by a clear MINORITY of the Welsh electorate, the glass and slate pile housing the 60 or so amateurs is about to officially unveiled in a blaze of glory.  Streets will be cordoned off and RAF jets will fly overhead.

This building, resembling a glass po, has cost the public £67 million.  Leaving aside the fact that the devolution referendum had only a 50% turn-out, with barely 50% support of that figure, the government has decided to waste money that could have been spent on far more worthwhile projects.  There was nothing wrong with the building the Welsh Assembly was already occupying, except for the desire by Labour to pour cash in projects standard-bearing of their drive to modernise every aspect of our country.  The Assembly has no executive nor tax-varying powers.  In the main, it rubber-stamps decisions made in Westminster, whilst giving the impression that 60 extremely well-paid members, is tantamount to bringing politics closer to the people.  A glass farce commissioned by a governmental farce.  How apt.

You Dirty Old Man!

Occasionally both David and I stray from the cauldron of politics to pay tribute to our respective heroes of the film and music worlds.  Today, I am going to do just that.  One of my favourite British comedians, Harry H. Corbett would have been the grand old age of 81 had he lived.

Born on February 28th 1925 in Rangoon, Burma, to British parents (his father was stationed there as an officer in the British Army), Harry H Corbett unfortunately lost his mother at a very early age, and was brought up in Manchester by his aunt.

He worked in a number of jobs including positions ranging from a hospital orderly to an apprentice car sprayer before engaging in war service with the Royal Marines.  He joined repertory company in the 1950s, appearing in numerous stage productions.  As his career developed, he worked in several films (including one alongside Edward G Robinson).  However, it is for his role as the long-suffering Harold Steptoe that the British public remember him best.

Steptoe and Son was written by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson shortly after they were abandoned by an increasingly troubled Tony Hancock.  Revolving around the lives of two West London rag and bone men, the series ran from 1962 until 1976.  Even though both Harold and his father, Albert (played by Wilfrid Brambell), were supposed to be 'cor blimey' cockneys, neither came from London.  As aforementioned, Harry was born in Burma, and Wilfrid Brambell in Dublin.  Corbett introduced the 'H' in his name to ditinguish him from Sooty's Harry Corbett.  After Steptoe and Son drew to a close he starred in a few television programmes including Tales of the Unexpected. 

Harry H Corbett's health deteriorated rapidly during the 1970s and he had several heart attacks from 1979 onwards.  He died at his home in Hastings, East Sussex on March 21st 1982.  He was only 57.  His 37-year old daughter, Sussanah Corbett, is an actress in her own right, having appeared in series such as Dalziel and Pascoe, Minder and Peak Practice.  I think we will all be laughing at Corbett's exclamations of 'You dirty old man!!' for many, many more years to come.

The Tolerant Oirish - Part 2

Yes, ladies and gentlemen.....and Oirish nationalists.  There are yet more nugatorial pearls of tolerance from our Hibernian brethren in today's Irish Examiner.

'I wonder how a Love the Republic parade would have gone down in Belfast?'

Keith Nolan, Carrick-on-Shannon, RoI (a veteran letter writer who cannot appreciate the difference that the majority in NI doesn't seek the constitutional annexation of the Republic)

'What did people expect to happen when the Orange Order, bearing banners and Union Jacks, decided to march past the GPO? Our politicians (unsurprisingly, including Justice Minister Michael McDowell) have yet again been struck down with historical amnesia. Despite Ireland’s rapid slide into political complacency, some things will never be accepted. Accept it.'

Nuala Walsh, Cork, RoI

Wow!!!  These doses of Paddy permissiveness are more than my head can bear.  Oh for the prosaicism of Hibernian pluralism!!

The Tolerant Oirish

Eoghan Harris identified in the latest edition of the Sunday Independent what he termed 'the thin veil' of tolerance and of pluralism in the Irish Republic.  For, as we all know, increasing prosperity does not necessarily equal enlightened values.  Let me put the facts on the table:

This was not specifically a Love Ulster parade. It was a parade by British members of the Northern Ireland community, supported by Love Ulster and the Orange Order, to commemorate Unionist victims of the IRA murder campaign to effectively achieve by genocide what the Irish Consitution claimed was a destination of legal right and constitutional imperative.  Why should they have commemorated all victims?  Up until this year, the perennial Bloody Sunday whingers couldn't give a fiddlers about victims other than their own transgressive rabble.  Did anyone ever condemn them for that?

So, for the purposes of ATW readers, I am going to republish some of the comments made by Oirish people from both within and without the Irish State (to evince opinion in what the Consitution now terms the 'Irish Nation').  What's more, these people will be readers of that country's most liberal newspaper.  Let's see just how enlightened the average Paddy is.

'What were the Government Ministers and the police thinking about when this march was given the go ahead?

F.A.I.R has a lot to answer for in so far as provoking this terror on the streets in Dublin. Maybe the Government Ministers have now learnt a lesson by seeing such a beautiful city centre lying in ruins, not to mention the dreadful injuries meted out.'

Doctor Rosaleen O'Brien, Luton, UK

'Despite Saturday's disturbances in Dublin caused by dissident Republicans, the full implementation of the Good Friday Agreement is still the best hope for peace and justice in both parts of Ireland.

The Agreement attempts to deal with the causes of injustice in the North, which in some cases, have existed since Partition was imposed in 1920.

This agreement, at least to some extent, recognises the obvious fact that 45 per cent of the Six County population considers itself Irish and desire to be part of one Irish nation that would zealously protect the rights of Loyalists who are still the majority in two of Ireland's 32 counties.'

Sean MacCurtain, Franklin, USA

'As someone who holds traditionalist Republican views (i.e. not those of modern Sinn Fein), I would like to point out that I distance myself completely from what happened in Dublin on Saturday.

I witnessed the riots, but was not involved - a violent reaction to Loyalist provocation was exactly what Willie Frazer and his entourage of dolled-up UDA men were looking for.'

Michea O'Haodha, Baile Atha Luain, RoI

'FAIR's reason for marching would not be looked at.

Genuine voices of protest would not be heard.

Love Ulster is an anti-Agreement campaign that sought to lobby southern opinion by hiding behind the dead. The violence witnessed on the streets of Dublin allowed them to go unchallenged.

FAIR's Love Ulster tour is not about victims, or achieving closure for their relatives. The Love Ulster campaign wants to turn back the clock to the good old days, before civil rights, a time where the taigs knew their place and the B-Specials roamed wild and free.'

Cahal McCarthy, Limerick, RoI

'What are we coming to? Could republicans parade through London, and not expect trouble? Be it right or wrong, it would be a fool to think there would be no trouble in Dublin on Sat.'

Cormac, RoI

'They should not be allowed march in the Republic anywhere at all. Let the government confine the madness of NI riots to north of the border even if that means abridging freedom of expression. For too many people south of the border the sight of Lambeg drums and marching bands has too much of an air of unionist triumphalism about it, a touch too much of croppy lie down etc which has plagued nationalists lives for too long. It didn't take a rocket scientist to predict that trouble would occur at such an event south of the border. Unless the Gardai can police such events effectively, which they can't, they shouldn't be allowed.'

John, Dublin, RoI

'I do not think the loyalists should be allowed to march simply because it was just an excuse to antagonise nationalists in the first place. This is no excuse for what happened.'

Maura, RoI

'As an Irish citizen I find it appalling that loyalists should be allowed to hold a march in my country. Most of the people who inhabit the province of Ulster have a deep hatred of the Republic and would jump at the chance to cause mayham in our capital city.'

Noel, RoI

'Yes, of course they should still be allowed to march. There is a long and deep tradition of loyalists marching to provoke violence and to break ceasefires by effectively marching over the graves of Irish dead. These agents provocateurs are only lucky that the Gardai are trained differently to the RUC - otherwise the protesters might have been given free rein and the organisers of Love Ulster subsequently shot!!'

Garry, Galway, RoI

'No way should loyalists be allowed march through Dublin or any part Ireland,all loyalist marching are about triumphalism and hatred, if we let these loyalists march through our country maybe we should welcome Bin Laden and Al Quieda to do some marching'

James, RoI

'I don't think the Loyalist's should be allowed to march through Dublin, it would be similar to letting the KKK march through New York or Washington fully decked out in all there ceremonial uniform. The treatment of the Catholics in NI bears so many similarities with the treatment of black Americans in the south; indeed the nationalist protesting in NI was sparked off from the civil rights marches in the southern states. It is no use saying this was in the past, as the loyalist tradition and marching bands is all about keeping down the nationalists and ensuring they stay second class citizens in their own country, this has not changed.'

Larry, RoI

'Either way, the unionists should not have been allowed to march. Marching in itself is provocative, so in effect they got what they came for. Too many Irish lives have been destroyed under British rule in the past and with REAL apologies still outstanding and attacks on the Irish President still continuing, we as a nation should not be giving those who despise our country a platform. If genuine people, victims of violence want to march for peace, then let them march, but let the drums and pipes behind you. And to all Irish people, don't be ashamed of the word Republican. It is after all what the great Irish men and women who built this country strived for, so don't let Bertie and the prostitute government of Ireland tell you any different, as they go begging bowl in hand for a few dollars more.'

NJ

'I don't have much respect for the Orange Order as it is a sectarian, bigoted organisation.'

Mary Harney, Tanaiste, RoI

As I've said previously, and am happy to repeat, beneath the wafer-thin veneer of 'top of the mornin' to ya,' 'come on in and 'av a pint o' Porter', 'God Bliss ya and the Divil miss ya', and 'when Oirish eyes are smilin' there remains a deep-seated dislike of any manifestations of Britishness - be it our flag, our Royal Family or the right of our citizens to protest at their treatment by that country's foreign and interfering government: a government in breach of international law and protocol for over 60 years in backing a Constitutional claim which gave rise to the terrorism responsible for taking the loved ones of those people who desired to highlight that message on Saturday.  And the above represent the theme of the clear majority of responses in Ireland's most broad-minded media publication.  Says a lot about the types who dwell on Erin's sod.  Maybe the greeting signs should say:

'Welcome to Oireland.  Ceid Mille Fimíneach'.

BUILT TO LAST...

How exciting. Conservative Leader "Dave" Cameron (That's him on the right of the picture, by the way, an unusual place for him to be) is set to grab some serious media headlines today by announcing that his Party is to show it has rejected any vestige of Thatcherism and embraced a Liberal agenda under the banner "Built to last." The thrilling Cameron agenda involves a Conservative Commitment to help;

A/ Make Tax decreases history

B/ Embrace unscientific global warming as a new mantra for action

C/ Stand by redistribution of wealth and back up the Welfare State

D/ Embrace the Feminazis to ensure a more sympathetic press.

I would suggest just one more idea. Why not change the NAME of the Party to something like Notting Hill Liberals and be done with. This is NOT Conservatism, I'm afraid, but cultivated liberalism which will do nothing for our country and I suggest little for the Conservatives.

I CAN CALL YOU SUNNI, YOU CAN CALL ME AL (QU'EDA)

Pleased to see that a top Al Qu'eda figure has been captured in Iraq. Iraqiya TV identified the key al-Qaida figure as Abu al-Farouq, a Syrian (Now there's a surprise!) who was previously unknown. It said he was captured with five other al-Qu'eda operatives in the Sunni insurgent stronghold of Ramadi, 70 miles west of Baghdad. So, Al Qu'eda working hand in glove with the Saddamite rump, who would have guessed that? It seems almost un-necessary to point out that this strategy of drawing the Al Qu'eda scum into Iraq where they can then be obliterated is exactly on strategy with the Bush doctrine, and one I fully support.

Also today, the Iraqi Defence Ministry reported Iraqi security forces had killed 35 terrorists and arrested 487 in raids throughout the country since Wednesday, when bombers blew up a major Shiite Muslim shrine in Samarra, 60 miles north of Baghdad.

Great results you will accept and yet.....when I check the BBC news at time of writing this news has not been reported. (Pedants and Moonbats can now go and check and see if it has subsequently been filed!) Naturally, the significance of capturing a top terrorist will lead the Iraqi news....right?????

UN JOB OPPORTUNITIES FOR RAPISTS

I used to think that the UN was absolutely useless. I now realise I was wrong. Mea culpa.

The United Nations, that organisation lovingly described as having a "unique moral authority" by such a luminary as Saint Clare Short is proving itself very useful as a place in which serial rapists get to police their own crime scenes, get to trade food for sex, and gain diplomatic immunity and indifference from the people supervising them. But don't worry, the UN upper echelons realise the urgency of the issue.

"Sexual abuse charges against U.N. peacekeepers remain high due to the organization's "culture of dismissiveness," according to Prince Zeid Ra'ad Zeid al-Hussein, Jordan's U.N, ambassador. He thinks it could take three to four more years for a reform program to take hold. Potential rape victims in the world's hot spots will have to be patient."

As Ms Short says; "a unique moral authority."

McALEESE AND REID TO BLAME?

Interesting to note that responsibility for the orgy of violence unleashed on the "Love Ulster" rally in Dublin on Saturday was laid yesterday at the feet of Irish President Mary McAleese and the Rev Alec Reid.  Love Ulster campaigner Willie Frazer, who made the accusation, said republican rioters shouted Nazi insults and made Nazi salutes. Whilst I am sure that the stupid comments of the Irish President and the Redemptorist Priest in the past did little good, apart from betraying deep seated mopery, I can't really agree with what Willie says. Those Nazi-like thugs who caused so much violence are just human scum whose nasty intolerance of Ulster Unionists and victims of IRA barbarism deserve NO excuses.      

A STARTER FOR TEN...

Don't be as ignorant as a Euroweenie - take the test!

THE SADDAM DIET

With the Atkins diet in freefall, ATW asks if the next craze be the Saddam diet? Here's how it works.

First, declare that you are going on a Hunger Strike, and then sit back and enjoy fawning media coverage for your immense fortitude. Next, drink plenty of water. Then, after 11 days, declare that you are being forced to give up the diet because of "health reasons." (Like, who'd have thought starving yourself would have any impact on your health?) Aim to loose 9-11lbs.

Should make the hanging quicker.