Right folks. I am on-line for the next hour and am open to YOUR questions. I promise to answer as truthfully as possible, so over to you!
So the recently freed Abu Burton has decided that, after mature reflection, she will be staying in Gaza to help
perpetuate the anti-Semitic lies the charitable work of her employer - Al Mezan. I reckon this entire "kidnapping" farce was a contrived sham, all aimed at showing us how "humane" the Pallies are. Naturally the MSM played along with this deceit. The cemetaries in Israel tell a rather different story.
In a particularly surreal statement even for the British agent penetrated Republican movement, IRA leader Gerry Adams has said that there is no "rampant crime" in nationalist or republican communities. He then added that "God didn't make little green apples, and it don't rain in Indianapolis in the summertime." The rest of Adams statement is so laughable that I wouldn't waste my breath refuting the transparent tissue of lies.
They gave up a few rusty weapons, but they haven't gone away you know. After three months of silence from Europe's most prolific killers, we have this message of hogmanay bonhomie tinged with more than a whiff of self-congratulation that they managed to refrain from mass killing for a period of twelve months. The message comes late in the evening, so I guess Gerry and Martin must have been struggling to get it finished before the New Year republican piss-up got under full swing.
I'll deal with each passage of revulsion in turn. First off, we have the reference to 'Oglaigh na h-Eireann'. In case some of you were not aware, Adams recently received a letter from Irish Defence Minister, Willie O'Dea, demanding a response on why an illegal terrorist outfit persisted in assuming the title of a legitimate army. Adams chose to ignore the letter, and now we know why. Republicans continue to assume that they are the legitimate inheritors of the Irish State. Nothing will change that. Staging events such as commemorating the Easter Rising will only re-inforce that perception, not give back ownership of Irish independence to constitutional parties. Sinn Fein/IRA are no different than Muslim fundamentalists: you cannot ever negotiate with either. They want wiping out, not conciliating.
'We remain wedded to our republican objectives.
We are confident that these objectives will be achieved.
We fully support and commend everyone working for these goals, especially our comrades in Sinn Fein.'
I'll state at this juncture that I'm more than confident their objectives will never be achieved. Unionists are more determined than ever that Northern Ireland's place within the United Kingdom will not be sacrificed to suit the various spokesmen of pan-nationalism. There is one interesting use of grammar in this sentence, nevertheless. It is the use of the word 'comrades' - defined in the OED as 'fellow members of a group who share one's activities or interests'. Hang on a moment. Accusations levelled at Adams and Co about the inextricable linkage between Sinn Fein and the IRA have always met with 'they've nothing to do with us, guv'nor'. The mask slips at last!!
'We send greetings to the republican activist base which has been so steadfast in the face of severe provocations this last twelve months.
We appeal for continued unity and determination in the year ahead.'
Fortunately, for the rest of us, these republican activists no longer contain one Matt Devlin, who has shuffled off this mortal coil to join the rest of his chums in eternal damnation. Devlin was one of the Hunger Strikers, pioneers of the crash diet, as well as a blanket protestor. He died after a long illness (so there is Divine Intervention after all). As for the rest of the 'republican base', I'm sure the staff at MI5 will be very appreciative of the season's greetings.
'We are mindful that 2006 marks the 25th anniversary of the hunger strikes and 90th anniversary of the Proclamation of the Republic in 1916.
We look forward to popular celebrations and commemorations of these events.'
This is where Sinn Fein will hi-jack the Easter Rising commemorations so stupidly reintroduced by the Irish Government. Instead of concentrating on the actual birth of the Republic in 1949, ministers have chosen to indulge the republican legend and create martyrs out of terrorists such as Padraig Pearse. As for the Hunger Strikers, the proles of Irish republicanism will be celebrating the fact that some of them lasted as long as 73 days, whilst the rest of us will be celebrating the fact that none of them lasted until the 74th day.
So a Happy New Year to Unionists and democrats everywhere. I'm sure 2006 will have some interesting revelations for us all.
You couldn't round off 2005 without a final jab at Bigoted Bri. His most recent piece came to my attention courtesy of ATW readers MR and Ivan. Unlike most of the rubbish which flows from the pen of this man, you have to read a considerable amount before you come to the customary denigration of Unionism. In fact, this time, BB saves it for the final paragraph.
Implicitly BB blames the genesis of the Troubles on the UVF. No mention is made as to why the UVF suddenly decided to resurrect their campaign. How about putting your readers in the picture, Doc? How about telling them that the 'anti-partitionist' campaigns and rhetoric emanating from a neighbouring country was responsible for the launch of the UVF putsch against innocent people. This is quintessential 'let's blame the Unionists for everything' ploy (even though very few Unionists ever supported the actions of loyalist paramilitaries). If you want to know who started the Troubles, Dr Feeney, look no further than the political fathers of Southern nationalism. At a time when the Republic is looking to flex its muscular credentials of republicanism, it might be worthwhile to consider that dwelling on events which have an implicit air of menace against both the Union and those who wish to see it endure could precipitate another generation of terrorism.
In truth, the Troubles were never about Unionism versus nationalism. They were about terrorists versus the rest of Ulster society. Victims of the terrorists were, in the main, innocent victims of bloody slaughter. By using the term 'innocent' in inverted commas, Feeney attempts to establish some sort of moral parity between those who were killed by terrorist scum, and the terrorist scum themselves. It helps to airbrush the collapse of nationalist electoral morals by explaining that Sinn Fein were no more blameworthy than the forces of the Crown, or the Democratic Unionist Party.
Next year does mark the 90th anniversary of the Easter Rising. It also marks the deaths of hunger strikers for whom the rest of the UK is far better off without. If republicans and their newspaper hangers-on want to glorify these two events, and throw themselves ever deeper into a Fenian cesspit of terrorist celebration, that is a matter for them. Most Unionists will continue to focus on the genuinely innocent victims of the past four decades - and they won't allow the erstwhile confessional proclivities of the deceased to stand in their way.
John Lennon's "Imagine" has come top of a radio poll as the UK's favourite song. Yuk! Every time I hear the opening chords of this prolonged dirge, I need to reach for a sick bag.
Mind you, some of the runner up songs were equally gruesome!
Hey Jude... Angels by Robbie Williams...Stairway to Heaven by some Hippy band from the 70's....though I do like "Let it be", an elegant song. Least said about James Blunt the better.
Anyway it's all irrelevant as everyone KNOWS that the best song ever is..."OLIVER'S ARMY"....
"Don't start me talking, I could talk all night......"
When you thought that the institution of marriage had already become a laughing stock by the establishment of civil partnerships, along comes someone who can knock that concept into a cocked hat. Sharon Tendler of Redbridge, east London, has married a.......................dolphin!!! at the resort of Eilat in Israel.
I can't see the sex life being up to much, can you? As for kids - forget it! And what are they going to talk about?:
'Hi hun, how was the day at work?'
'Squeak, squeak, snort, click.'
'Good, glad you enjoyed it.'
According to the link, Sharon whispered a few sweet nothings into 35 year-old Cindy's (odd name for a bloke!!) blowhole. Of course, anyone who knows anything about cetacean biology will know that dolphins' ears are located about 5cm behind the eyes, and are only 2mm in diameter. The blowhole has one function only: to enable to animal to breathe once it has surfaced. So, whispering things like 'I can't wait to get you under the sheets, my aquatic stud' into the animal's breathing apparatus is a bit like crooning at somebody's lung - totally counter-productive. After the ceremony she dived into the Red Sea to give Cindy a hug, at which point Cindy thought: 'Who is this deranged woman who's attached herself to me like a limpet?'. I was hoping for some sharks to come along and ruin the occasion but it was not to be.
The world has gone mad. Shame on Tendler for having the sickness of mind to profess nuptials to a sea mammal. Moreover, shame on the sad idiots who witnessed and performed the ceremony. They have done more to undermine the sanctity of marriage than a whole host of salivating queens could ever hope to do.
I know Andrew has already commented on the Knighthood awarded to Tom Jones (!) but I have to say that these celebrity New Year's Honours absolutely sicken me. I profoundly disagree with the honours system and would much prefer to see it abolished. As for the argument that it rewards the little people as well as the celebs, I say, pay 'em more if you want to reward them. This is nothing more than popularist patronage and pay off time for sycophants.
This is how fugitives from international justice live their lives in bonny old Oireland. The Three Stooges of Colombia's rebels, having escaped to Oireland to avoid the punishment they so richly deserved, are now centre-stage at the Wolfe Tone Bar in Letterkenny, County Donegal. This story, which has since been confirmed by the pub's landlord, means that Connolly, Monaghan and McCauley will be part and parcel of some sick Provo vaudeville where poitin and rebel songs will be consumed with all the gusto we would expect from any large-scale republican social orgy.
Gardai have refused to confirm whether or not the men will be arrested if they show up together in public. Translated from the Janus-lingo of the typical Oirish authority figure, it means that these three have about as much chance of being apprehended as I have in proving my genealogical lineage to the Kublai Khan. Monaghan et al will show up, live the party life with the low life and then slink off back to their secretive boltholes to continue sticking their proverbial fingers up to the Colombian government.
Oireland has undoubtedly advanced economically. But the nihilism which still underpins the emotional attachment to republican sentiment is as prevalent today as ever it was. That is why the Colombia Three are able to have their bog-trotter knees-up in Letterkenny. It is also the reason why, in the long term, they will continue to have the benefits of a free life in the Republic in much the same way as so many other IRA personnel did in the past.
'Oh stop moaning, it's your pride that's all. It's been naggin' away at you ever since you found out I was an OBE.'
'Yeah. Order of the British Empire.'
'Bill, you were ordered OUT of the British Empire.'
These hilarious few lines come from one of my favourite Hancock's Half Hour episodes entitled Almost a Gentleman. Hancock and Bill Kerr are discussing the reasons why Hancock has been turned down for recognition in the New Year's Honours List. Fast forward to the eve of 2006 and we see another load of Honours bestowed on celebrities who are hardly deserving of the accolade.
I'm all for rewarding 'the little man' for services to his community. By and large I recoil in disgust at some of the famous personalities who receive recognition, though I am in favour of a select number receiving the accolades they truly deserve. Under this government, Honours have been thrown around like confetti to anyone who seems to feature strongly in Tony and Cherie's DVD and CD collections. This year it's Tom Jones. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite partial to one of Tom's ditties when the mood takes me. I even fully understand the sentiments behind Delilah (if a girlfriend of mine was moonlighting with the village stud behind my back, she would definitely 'laugh no more'.).
On the other hand, is Tom Jones really worthy of being called a 'Sir'? He has crooned on stage; had copious amounts of knickers hurled his way; allegedly fertilised half the women of the Welsh Valleys whilst still professing the qualities of marriage; and earned quite a wad of cash along the way. Do these acts necessitate the gravitas of a Knighthood? I hardly think so.
We have had 'Sir' Mick Jagger. We have have 'Sir' (or should that be 'Madam'?) Elton John. Throwing titles at people who, in the eyes of many, are totally undeserving of them debases the quality that an Honour is supposed to provide. It also exposes an element of politics in choosing the recipients. For example, I would be very much in favour of an Knighthood for Michael Palin. He is one of my favourite Pythons; has contributed an amazing array of comedy sketches for British television down the years; and is perhaps the most entertaining travel writer I have ever experienced. Yet, a fellow agency worker who is something of a film and television expert has told me that Palin would never get an Knighthood (although he has been made a CBE) because the controversy over Life of Brian would always be a hindrance. If that isn't blatantly political, what is!!?
My congratulations go to those throughout the United Kingdom who have gained awards on the basis of services to others. Try as I might, I cannot extend the same warmth to Tom on this cold winter morning. And accounting for the fact that many will feel the same way just goes to prove that when it comes to cynicism, 'it's not unusual'.